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View Full Version : CRAP!!! Someone grab my weiner!!



Fluffy
12-11-2006, 08:45 PM
Now, this is a statement that any of you would understand perfectly. However, tonight I realized its a statement that should NOT be YELLED in a mall full of holiday shoppers and people who it is now apparent to me were just as :duh: as me to be standing in line to get our dogs photos taken with Santa. I should have turned around and left right then and there! Buddy decided he wanted to befriend the pitt bull :shocked: in line in front of us, so he just slipped his collar off and went bouncing over to him. The pb's owner was nice enough to stop laughing at my strange request and pick up Buddy so I could fix his collar for him. He was a very nice man. Joked with me that I needed a few more arms (keep in mind I am holding Heidi as she is the one who normally freaks out). Collar back into place and tighter, he put Buddy back down for me. Suddenly Buddy decided he did not like his new pb friend and growled and snarled at him. So I scooped him up and am now holding 18lb and 15 lb dachsies, trying not to touch Heidi's girl parts and squeezing Buddy's guts out. Heidi starts shaking as she normally does when she's nervous, but is out of control with convuslions so I set her down so my arms can recoop a bit. She prances happily over to the pb and gives her a kiss on the nose, looks up at me like "Hey Mudder, meet my friend Ally!" Ok, Heidi is FINE on the floor, Buddy is still freaking out and trying to eat Heidi's new friend Ally. By this point, I am SOAKING wet (stupidly wore my heavy winter coat), hair is a mess and I too am to be in the picture :sosad: SO we finally get to our turn, and I whip out the antlers thinking to myself "Yeah right cuz THIS will work." The helper takes Buddy and gives him to Santa and puts his antlers on while I position myself in front of Santa and put Heidi's on. The camera lady is trying to whistle (apparently they didn't teach her how in second grade) and they are squeaking a toy insanely trying to get the dogs to look at the camera. I finally say try saying (spelling it out) c-o-o-k-i-e. They are like :duh: what? Next lady in line says COOKIE loudly and both dogs about kill me and Santa to get to her. The camera lady says it and it worked...too bad my face was retarded. Third try and below is what we came up with. I am now off to have a few :shooters: and pray all the feeling returns to my arms as I cannot hold them up right now, and if you only knew how many times I have had to hit backspace, you'd think I never used a keyboard before! Enjoy this picture cuz I'm pretty sure it will NEVER happen again. Oh, and I forgot to mention, when I took them out to the car so I could pay, Buddy STILL had his antlers on. I figured they'd be eaten by the time I got back out, but he left them on...until we got into the house and I picked up the camera to take his picture. Ugh!

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c12/buddyheidi/santa2.jpg

Courtney
12-11-2006, 08:49 PM
Why are you so close to Santa's crotch!?!?

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Sorry I amuse myself sometimes. Besides the crotch proximity you all look so cute!! Except Santa....he is scary!

Fluffy
12-11-2006, 08:52 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: You crack me up Courtney! It was either be near his crotch or sit on his lap :shocked: Excuse me you want me to WHAT? I don't think so!!! I took my chances with his crotch.

Yolanda
12-11-2006, 08:57 PM
All right now Bec that is enough. I was laughing so hard I am crying just reading the post. Then Courtneys comment -- well, needless to say, I need to go change now.

Wonedrful story. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Lee Anne
12-11-2006, 09:01 PM
Awwwww! I wanted to be the one to ask about the crotch!! Dangit! :rotfl: Good job Becca! I was stressed out just reading about it!!

Alex's Mom
12-11-2006, 09:06 PM
Jeez, Bex, I just snorted my tea all over my keyboard!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: and yet, after all that, the pic turned out pretty darn good, I'd say!! (Crotch notwithstanding...)

areese
12-11-2006, 09:27 PM
Good heavens!!! Santa porno...
Did you all notice how darn HAPPY Santa is holding a wiener with Becca's head so near to his....???
Seriously, cute picture, you all look cute :)
And it's a great story:rotfl:
I have a picture of Santa crawling on the floor after my pig Scouty who is wearing a santa hat.......

Otto'sMom
12-11-2006, 09:34 PM
Geeze, I thought I was bad thinking the antlers looked like little hands on Santa's package:rotfl: You all got me beat:shocked:

oceangirls
12-11-2006, 10:02 PM
Geeze, I thought I was bad thinking the antlers looked like little hands on Santa's package:rotfl:

dangit, Andrea.


You all got me beat:shocked:

no, they don't... because after all their posts I could still look at the picture... until I read yours :faint: Ho ho ho, indeed!

It's really a very adorable picture, Becca!!!! :hearts::D

Teddysmom
12-11-2006, 10:02 PM
Geeze, I thought I was bad thinking the antlers looked like little hands on Santa's package:rotfl:
OMGosh! I had to scroll back up to check this one out because I was like "no way can it look like that", and sure enought it does look like little hands on Santa's "package". I just had my tea come out my nose along with the :spit: all over my computer desk from laughing so hard!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: It DID turn out to be a great picture though; reguardless of what else we perverts on the DLC think:rolleyes: :duh:

HotDogMama
12-11-2006, 10:05 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: now my insides hurt....

areese
12-11-2006, 10:17 PM
Geeze, I thought I was bad thinking the antlers looked like little hands on Santa's package:rotfl: You all got me beat:shocked:
O geez....and if you just read the title (Crap somebody grab my wiener) and look at the picture without reading the post.... it took me a few minutes to sort things out there...

jenfer
12-11-2006, 10:52 PM
The pic is not that bad. And the story just crack me up. :lol:

lotsadox
12-11-2006, 10:58 PM
Geeze, I thought I was bad thinking the antlers looked like little hands on Santa's package:rotfl: You all got me beat:shocked:

Got me too! I had to scroll back up to check that out. :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Anatresia
12-11-2006, 11:12 PM
Well, you wouldn't know it was such an ordeal from the pic- it looks great!!!

(I go through the same thing with Rigby- she hates everything, so Santa photos are on that list.)

catstamm
12-11-2006, 11:54 PM
OMGosh....sounds like adventures in the stamm famm.....:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: The picture is beautiful and way worth the effort...santa looks pretty happy too...sure he hasn't seen a pretty young thing on her knees:shocked: .....sorry I'll get out of the gutter:rotfl: :rotfl:
VERY VERY SWEET PICTURE OF EVERYONE!!!:hearts:

Tex
12-12-2006, 12:07 AM
...sure he hasn't seen a pretty young thing on her knees:shocked: .....sorry I'll get out of the gutter:rotfl: :rotfl:

Oh Cat that one takes the cake!!! I think it's a great pic Becca!!!! Go have a cocktail and a little more benadryl and everything will be fine in the morning!:duh:

Fluffy
12-12-2006, 12:09 AM
Go have a cocktail and a little more benadryl and everything will be fine in the morning!:duh:


It will if I ever get the feeling back in my left arm :sosad: Guess I"m more out of shape than I thought. I'll just start bench pressing Heidi and I'll be good as new in no time.

Patt
12-12-2006, 12:38 AM
You guys are sooo funny. :rotfl: :rotfl: Great pic Becca!


Geeze, I thought I was bad thinking the antlers looked like little hands on Santa's package:rotfl:
OMG I thought the same thing. :lol:

Linus
12-12-2006, 01:47 AM
That's an awesome picture!!! You look adorable! Send me MANY!

Da Brat
12-12-2006, 10:54 AM
Ok, now my stomach hurts, my cheeks ache and I now have no more mascara as I have laughed so hard I have cried it all off... Oh and I almost choked on a peanut m&m... :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Michelle
12-12-2006, 12:49 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
OMG,, After reading your post I was expecting to see this crazed picture with you having hair all flung about and the dogs having this crazed look on their faces, but the pic turned out GREAT!!!!,
You would have never ever known all that previous stuff happened before the pic!!!!!!

Mama S.
12-12-2006, 05:40 PM
How am I supposed to be the straightlaced Mama who never laughs at porno santa pics or comments like that? Aint no way - great story Bex!!!
Mama

Goob
12-12-2006, 05:44 PM
CUTE PIC! As for Santa's package..... :hug99: