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View Full Version : Separation anxiety and getting a sibling



karsris
02-21-2006, 12:56 PM
Hello! Digger and I are new to this forum. I've been lurking for awhile and LOVE it! The tips are great. Here's what I've been contemplating... I will be relocating from Boston to LA in the Spring. Surprisingly, daycare will cost more in LA than it does in Boston and I know that given my work commute, daycare five days a week or getting my Digger a sibling will be my only options- I hate the idea of him alone at home for hours on end - even if I hired a walker. I'd like to start breaking him in once we move where he goes to daycare only every other day or maybe only twice a week versus every day. I thought perhaps getting him a sibling might be best (another around his age 9mos - 1yr and maybe a girl) to keep him company on the days there is no daycare and send both pups to daycare just for socialization once or twice a week. Has anyone else found that 1) once your pup got a sibling, you didn't worry about them having separation anxiety as much? I am hoping this is the case and maybe I can nix daycare altogether and just get a walker and only send them to daycare once a week for socialization 2) even with two or more pups did you still find some issues of separation anxiety?

Karin
For more info on Digger, please visit: www.dogster.com/?171824

Courtney
02-21-2006, 01:02 PM
:welcome2: :welcome2: Karin! it is great to have you here.

I think it depends on the dog as to whether or not another will help with separation anxiety. In some cases, yes, it most definitely will. I fostered a dog who hated being crated...unless I crated him with my dog. Then he loved it! If your dog likes other dogs, and you find one that gets along well with him, then yes it will be great for him to have a friend to hang out with during the day! Dogs are pack animals and love being around other dogs. He may love a sister but chances are a brother will also be a great buddy for him. Are you moving to Los Angeles or Louisiana?? There are plenty of rescue dogs that need homes...and groups will work with you to find a great match.

There are some other things you can do to help separation anxiety. I would recommend two books... "The Dog Listener" by Jan Fennell and "I'll Be Home Soon" by Patricia McConnell. Both are on amazon.com...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1891767054/sr=8-1/qid=1140541317/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-2228135-4428950?%5Fencoding=UTF8

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060089466/qid=1140541340/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-2228135-4428950?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

good luck and welcome again! We can't wait to hear more about you and your pup.

karsris
02-21-2006, 01:14 PM
It is partially my fault that Digger hates being alone. I started him in daycare when he was 12 weeks old and he has rarely left my side... even when i am home or running errands, he goes EVERYWHERE with me in his sling-go carrier here in the city. So I did spoil him. Boston is very dog friendly whereas California has strict laws on where a dog can or cannot go, and i am going to have to re-train myself as well on this change. There have been times where when i am visiting my mother in Los Angeles, I have left him with her older dachshund at home and he seemed to be fine BUT there was one instance where I came home to a chewed door! My mom was not happy with that! But I think as time goes on and he's left alone more and more in longer stretches, he'll get used to it - especially if he's got a sibling to play with. I know that he knows I will return to him... but that doesn't stop him from howling (luckily the howling is very low and there is no barking - i taught him early not to do that). Still, i worry...

Thank you for the book recommendations! I will check it out.

Jill
02-21-2006, 01:23 PM
Hi Karen!

Glad to see you made it over here! Not sure if you remember me, but we met at the Boston Meet-up's.

Courtney posted some great books. We decided that Bailey needed a friend and now that Reese is with us I don't worry about him being lonely. He never showed signs of SA though. I think a pal would be great for Digger. They will have a lot of fun together.

I suggest a rescue group for find a pal for Digger. Good Luck!

karsris
02-21-2006, 01:30 PM
Of course i remember! I haven't been to John's meet-ups in Salem the past two times so I've missed you. We've been hanging out at the South End and Digger has been an Honorary Pug fo rthe pug meet-ups.

Lisa
02-21-2006, 01:53 PM
Hi and :welcome2: (officially) to the DLC.

I personally think two dogs are great, but I think it's more important to find the two right dogs. Tanya can speak more to this, because it took her a while to find a perfect match for Peaches. I however, went the opposite and got a dog I liked...unfortunately, Pogo (my eldest) does not feel the same way I do about Pixel. So the reason we added Pixel to our family has backfired for us, because I can't leave them unattended & together.

If I had to do it all over again, I don't know if I would change anything, because I adore Pixel, but in the future, I would make sure my dog had lots of contact with a future family member and they got along before I brought him or her home.

The books Courtney recommended are excellent. And I like your idea of two and a dog walker, that sounds like an great solution. If the SA gets really out of control, you might want to talk to a behavorist as well as your vet.

Good luck with your move! We look forward to lots more post (oh and pictures, did we mention pictures? I bet Digger is a cutie).

Rae
02-21-2006, 02:00 PM
HI Karin and welcome!
I am a one-doxie mama myself so have no info but would like to refer you to Pokey's Mom, who has just relocated to the LA area and has had endless battles with SA issues with her doxie, Pokey.

If nothing else she can commiserate!

Goodluck with the move and hope all goes exceptionally well!

Lisa
02-21-2006, 02:16 PM
I went to Digger's dogster page! TOTAL cutie pie

http://granite.dogster.com/pix/dogs/24/171824/171824_1138142779.jpg

and Snooter might love this one!

http://granite.dogster.com/pix/dogs/24/171824/171824_1138142855.jpg

Absolute :angel7: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts:

karsris
02-21-2006, 02:23 PM
Lisa - thank you for posting those pic for me! I'm so lame and don't know how to do it in the body of a post! Is there a Tech-help link?

Laurie' s Dachshunds
02-21-2006, 03:55 PM
:welcome2: to DLC!!!!:cheer2:

OMGosh!!!! Digger looks soooooooooo much like my pup Lil' Smokey! Like seeing twins! Thanks Lisa for posting his pic!

Lisa
02-21-2006, 04:01 PM
Yes, here is how to post pictures http://www.doxielovers.com/dlc/showthread.php?t=185

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask myself or any of the mods, we are all here to help.

Lisa

oceangirls
02-21-2006, 04:50 PM
Hi Karin! Can't help you much on adding a dachshund; we considered it with our first one but never did... and our current two are sisters so they have always been together. I have to say I definitely love having two and they do entertain each other... I think it is great advice to spend a little time finding one that is a good match with Digger (who is - incidentally - adorable!!).

Welcome to DLC! :welcome7: Yes, please let us know if you need help with pics. Photobucket is one very easy hosting site you might consider.

Patt
02-22-2006, 12:47 AM
Karin & Digger :welcome7: to DLC I'm glad you joined our group. Digger is a :cutiepie2 Two puppers are always better than one, hopefully you won't have double the SA though. Renee (Pokey'sMom) is our resident expert on SA I'm sure she will be able to help you.

Good luck in your move and look forward to hearing more about Digger. I left him a few bones on Dogster. :sausage: :sausage:

Goob
02-22-2006, 01:09 AM
Hola Karin and Digger!!!

I'm your soon to be neighbor in San Diego! As I told Renee, let me know if you ever need babysitting or just want to hang out. SD & LA are just seperated by a few miles.

Welcome, glad you found us!

Karen

Pokeys Mom
02-22-2006, 01:48 AM
Please feel free to Private Message me anytime. :)

We relocated from Chicago to the greater Los Angeles area in August of 2005, and have dealt with major separation anxiety issues. We had a small house in the midwest where DH worked from a home office 70% of the time, and moved to a multi-story unit with DH gone all day. Our dogs could be left alone for 6 hours or more in the midwest without a problem. After the move, they didn't last 6 seconds!

I don't mean to come off harsh and scary, but I have been through a lot of stress from my dogs' SA after the move.

First, I would highly suggest to read Courtney's suggestions, especially "I'll be Home Soon." Second, please don't rush into a second dog. Our "second" dog is causing much trouble, grief and expenses. (We brought Marta into our home in January 2005.) Doggie day care can easily be $30 a day for one dog, can you afford $60-$80 a day with two? Just a thought. Then, if you are in a high-rise taking two dogs out (-with diarrhea from stress) can be a handful.

I have found that "dog sitters" just mean "dog walkers" in our area. A friend of ours in a different area of LA has been able to convince strangers to watch her dog and "dog-sit" for the evening. Maybe you'll find something similar.

Before you find a community to stay in, please check out their "dog laws." We happen to be in a city just outside of Los Angeles that does not allow more than 5 minutes of barking in any one hour period. Subject to a fine of $1000 and 6 months in jail. I really wish we had seen that before settling into our community. To be fair, we didn't have much choice and it isn't as scary as it sounded at first.

We are close to the ocean, which is nice- but also means that windows and doors do not seal. This was a shock coming from the midwest! Being so close to the beach means cooler weather and no need for AC or insulation. Just look for housing with good sound proofing and sealing doors and windows if you can.

Plus LA traffic. (argh!) Traveling to and from day care can take a great deal of time.

Now, how to cope! I instigated "Separation Anxiety Desensitization Boot Camp" right away. :) I would pick up my keys and leave for 30 seconds, return quietly, ignore the dogs for 5 minutes then repeat. Hopefully, if all goes well you will be building to minutes then hours. I have found that ignoring the dogs for 20 minutes or longer works wonders. (I am skipping some details, but it's in the books mentioned earlier.)

Also, a great tool has been a video recorder! Mine isn't anything fancy. Just something from the 80's. :D For the longer leaves, I could set up the camera and see when my dogs got upset and why. (Toy got stuck, construction workers pounding nextdoor, not enough "white noise," too much free space, gate was knocked down, etc.) The plus side of taping is that I had proof and confidence of what my dogs were doing when I was away. A neighbor accused my dog of making noise when it was truly another dog. *whew*

Please don't let this stop your move. ;) Just start working now on any SA issues that you can work out right now. I flew with Pokey, so I'll be happy to help you through that as well. It sounds like you are on the right track.

Welcome to the Pacific Coast!! :hula1: Things will work out with time. I just happened to get more than I ever expected! Others move out just fine. :scratch:

karsris
02-22-2006, 12:39 PM
Thanks Renee!
Luckily I will be staying with my mother in the Santa Clarita Valley area until I find a job. The daycare will be dependant on where the job is so it will be an easy drop of and pick up for me - already thought about that given the commute. Another big plus is that Digs will stay at the house with Bitsy (a doxie/ beagle mix of my mom's) while I am out of the house. Bitsy is much older but they get along so it shouldn't be a problem. But I do want to start to get him used to me going out to the grocery store, to the gym, etc for 30 mins to an hour (with or without Bitsy). Here in Boston, I take him everywhere! Even to Neimans and the market... in CA, it will be a different ballgame given the strict healthcode laws out there. He'll just have to get used to being home alone more. And I did think about the double cost of daycare for both dogs if I ended up getting him a sibling after I move out of mom's. It may very well be that Digger continues to be an only child and to go 5 days a week and he'll just have to deal during the weekends when i go out to run errands. By the time May rolls around, he'll be 1 years old and mature enough to be alone for longer amounts. Luckily for me, he's not a destroyer and I think if I am smart about his set-up area within the house, he will be less likely to destroy anything. I had taught him early through the use of a citronella collar not to bark, so most noises are a low, whiney howling. I am hoping where ever I end up living, it will not be loud enough to warrant complaints by neighbors. But I will pick up the book you recommended. Thanks again!

Pokeys Mom
02-22-2006, 01:07 PM
By the way...

:cheer: :welcome11 :cheer:

A big welcome to the DLC!!!

Laurie' s Dachshunds
02-25-2006, 11:59 AM
Maybe for now you can play some music to soothe the SA or give a stuffed Kong to settle down with. I went thru it with Shadow and his main problem was he could hear the neighbors & howl for them thinking they will let him out. He chewed every mini-blind in the house.:scratch: Later, I had a neighbor tell me she "talked" to him to tell him he' s OK & his mommy will be home soon. I' m sure that helped sooooo much!!! :mad:
If you decide to get another 1 make sure they will get along 1st. You don' t wanna defeat the purpose of having 2!

Anatresia
02-25-2006, 12:20 PM
I don't know why I didn't see this before. We bought Mr. butters in April of 2003. He was a complete spaz as far as separation anxiety goes. He would poop in his crate and lay in it, destroy everything in sight, pee on everything, cry and cry and cry, etc. He was terrible.

I was told that getting a sibling would only make the sibling get separation anxiety. Well, I didn't listen and bought Rigby. Mr. Butters is completely fine when we leave now and Rigby doesn't care. The only time Butters gets upset is when we leave out of routine- for example, last night we went to dinner late, at 8, and we had company over before leaving, and the break from routine made him rip up his puppy pad. Other than that, though, he and Rigby just snuggle all day and they seem very happy together. :)

I love having two. I feel much less guilty knowing that they're together while I'm at work. :) And this board will always welcome a second, third, or tenth dachshund. The more the merrier. ;)

Alex's Mom
02-25-2006, 12:40 PM
I have to say that Alex's SA was a lot better when Maxe was alive, even thought they weren't best buds (Maxe was 9 when I got Alex, and they were together for 6 years). But they were definitely company for each other. Maxe died almost 7 years ago, and the SA has gotten progressively worse (she's too dog agressive to consider having another one in the house, and just WILL NOT listen when I tell her that she'd be much happier with a little sib! :rotfl: ). So I guess my vote is to get another one to keep your little guy company. But as others have said, make sure they get along ok first!

Pokeys Mom
02-25-2006, 01:19 PM
I forgot to include this basic, but very good tip sheet. Even if you don't need it right now, others searching for "SA" might find it useful in the future.

http://www.hsus.org/pets/pet_care/our_pets_for_life_program/dog_behavior_tip_sheets/separation_anxiety.html


(P.S. I have a really good friend up in Santa Clarita. PM me if you ever want to meet up!) :hula1:

Laurie' s Dachshunds
02-25-2006, 07:07 PM
I used the advice "practice leaving" with Shadow & it worked.

Michelle
03-01-2006, 01:08 PM
HI Karin !! :welcome2: :welcome2:
So glad that you found us and decided to stop lurking and start posting!!

I think getting a sibling is a great idea. We bought our two girls from the same litter in April 2005. Heidi and Princess just turned a year old last week. We are at work long hours and I hated the thought of leaving one dog crated all day while the cat gets the free roam of the house. So we bought two pups at the same time.

It has worked out great and they are very rarely apart from each other. They even went in for their spaying together and were crated in the same kennel at the vet.

I think that having 2 doxies is a great idea!!

I say go for it!!!!

isobelsmom
03-04-2006, 06:45 PM
JMHO, I would start working on Digger's SA now...even before you finalize another pupper for him. He needs to learn that you will always come home. Those books Courtney recommended are tops and if you follow the plans for desinsitization (as Pokey's mom did) you will begin to see results. I would also suggest waiting till you are moved before getting another dog...in case Digger regresses due to stress from the move. That usually happens, especially cross country.

I have a small herd and they all keep one another company...but I leave the tv on for noise and have a fan also to block more unwanted voices and such from the outslde. Just an FYI.

BTW....:welcome2: :welcome2: to the DLC. I'm Mary and the resident Dog Abbey back from being ill. I try very hard to answer training and/or behavior issues like yours and to see what works and what doesn't. If you start with Digger now, you can get a handle on what works for him and what needs adjusted. And we can work up a game plan.

Good luck and welcome to the DLC!!!!!! :boogie: :boogie: