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View Full Version : anxiety while leaving - long!



Helen
03-26-2006, 03:14 PM
I need help. In the past month or so, Charlie has developed a strange behavior. He's completely fine if both BF and I are leaving him at the same time. We can go upstairs to bed or leave the house, and Charlie is calm and quiet. The problem is when just one of us leaves - like if I go upstairs to go to sleep early, or if one of us goes out for awhile by ourselves. Charlie seems to become distraught - you can tell by the way he barks, he jumps up and down non-stop, etc. Twice now he's grabbed onto our pants - I really hope that he wasn't actually trying to bite us, but I just don't know. It seems like he's just so desperate for us not to go. Once whoever is leaving is gone, he settles down immediately. It seems to be the act of leaving that makes him crazy, not the fact that one of us is gone.

Nothing that I can think of has changed, but he didn't always act like this. We don't make a big deal out of leaving. We don't have any other alpha problems with him: I can stick my fingers in his food, take away his bone, etc. What do you guys think? Today was the second time he grabbed onto BF's pants (he was leaving, I was staying). I immediately told him "No", grabbed him and put him in his crate.

When going upstairs to sleep by myself, when I see him starting to get worked up (it's not every time) I've started to make him sit and stay while I go through the gate and then give him a treat. That seems to have worked for that particular situation. Do you think we should make him be calm like that and then reward it? Or is this a deeper problem than that? It confuses me because I don't think it's actually separation anxiety, since like I said, he's fine once the person is gone. And he's fine if both of us leave at the same time. I'm afraid if we don't get a hold of this now, the grabbing of the pants could lead to something worse.

Sorry this was so long. I really look forward to hearing what y'all have to say.

Mama S.
03-26-2006, 05:11 PM
I have just the opposite problem. WHen I come home Sam grabs for my clothing as if to say "You aint goin nowhere else" I ignore him - he lets go and everything is fine but he does it every day every time I come in the house.
Sandi

catstamm
03-26-2006, 10:16 PM
That is a strange problem and its a little hard to help without seeing what you are talking about. :scratch: Whoever's pants he is biting should be the one to tell him NO and direct him down...I'd be careful of using the crate for punishment too. When my girls try to get a little pushy I tell them NO and take steps towards them as I stand tall to let them know I'm the boss and they back off...at least they think I'm the boss for a minute anyway :happy2: My girls start circling me and won't take thier eyes off me from the minute the blow-dryer goes on...and when I do leave them they give me the poor orphan looks ...ahhhh

oceangirls
03-27-2006, 10:10 AM
That is so weird... I have not experienced anything like that. Hopefully some others will have ideas.:confused:

Chris
03-27-2006, 01:04 PM
Do you have a "routine" when you both leave the house that Charlie is used to, but not when one only leaves? (i.e, leaving -turn on a certain light, fresh water, kisses for CHarlie, treat vs one just "walking out the door").

ALso, does Charlie consider one of the two of you the "alpha" (not that he doesn't love the other one any less). Alex considers my husband the alpha dog. He listens to me but he "shows off' or "acts up" more around him than me. Once DH has left the property completely, he is a differnet dog. The other of you is his "audience" and when both of you are gone he has no "audience."

Thirdly, since this just started happening, is there anything that has happened in the last few months that has changed or was really different?

Hmmm...still thinking..

lotsadox
03-27-2006, 01:27 PM
That's tough one, Helen. :scratch: I don't have any ideas. I've never had a problem like that. Cash will occasionally grab someone's pant leg when they come in the house and he is all excited. I've used the spray bottle to curtail that behaviour, but this sounds like more than that. Hopefully someone else will be able to help.