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View Full Version : little kids and my not so social dog



Dijon04
06-20-2006, 06:47 PM
okay so as many of you know i recently moved into an apartment complex in va. well with the complex and especially summer comes kids. kids who want to pet my dog. now mikey is getting much better about "attacking" people. he is resorting to just ignoring them. occasionally he'll pull towards them but i say 'no' and he'll go on about his business. kids will ask if they can pet him and i say no....they dont always listen...he snapped at this one kid who is like 9. what part of dont pet the dog he bites is hard to understand? he kept coming at him bent over with his hand out saying 'its okay i'm nice'

and then i felt really bad because this little boy (3ish) and his mom and sister were getting ready to go swimming and we crossed paths...mikey wasnt interested in him but i didnt want to take the chance for the kid to get bit...(the mom said to ask if he could pet the dog) and i shook my head at mom saying no he bites. KID THROUGH A FIT! i just apologized and walked off...

so what do i do? do i start letting people try and pet him???

Da Brat
06-20-2006, 07:07 PM
Absolutely not! Let them get over it!! I wouldn't take a chance now a days with people getting sue happy! I especially wouldn't risk it because they could try to demand that Mikey be taken away..
Is there anyway you can work on his social skills?

Otto'sMom
06-20-2006, 07:28 PM
Don't feel bad! Kids annoy me too. My dogs are great with them, much to my personal annoyance and adore the attention they get from admirers.
No matter what you're doing, NO means NO and never feel sorry for adhereing to your rules.
As for socialization, it's a slow process. There are all sorts of books on the subject. You'll just have to tell the kids quickly that you don't want their Mommy and Daddy to get mad at you for letting the dog bite them (EVEN THOUGH YOU TOLD THE DAMN KID NOT TO TOUCH YOUR DOG.) and yes I meant to shout. Personal responsibility has gone to heck in a handbasket and I'd hate to see someone get sued and the dog quarintined for biting.

Frzframe
06-20-2006, 07:49 PM
Don't feel bad about telling anyone not to pet YOUR dog.

Dijon04
06-20-2006, 07:56 PM
thanks for the advice....he is alot better than he was but i dont think i'll ever completely trust him around kids....

i really need a trainer/behaviorist.....but i dont know what a good price would be? i'm always afraid of getting scammed in that kind of situation?

he can do sit, down, and well that's pretty much it...he knows come and wait but doesnt obey them

Sophie and Lili's Mom
06-20-2006, 08:07 PM
yes a behaviorist! When we used one she was 60 an hour...it only took one session to have the idea of how to help our girl...but we did not have aggression issues.

Alex's Mom
06-20-2006, 08:14 PM
Alex is the same way, Angela. I never trust her around adults, never mind kids! At least the mom asked first, and frankly, the tantrum was her problem to deal with...more to do with being told no than you, I suspect! My personal nightmare is kids (and adults) who just bound up and put their hand out...or worse, stick their hand through the car window to pat her. Really dumb idea!!! A behaviourist (yes, that is a "u", thank you very much :rotfl:) is an excellent idea, though. It's been many years since we last worked with one, but at the time it was well worth the $$$...she's not completely trustworthy, but so much better!! (I honestly don't remember what I paid, but $30/session seems to stick in my mind. Of course, this was 12 years ago, and prices have no doubt gone up!).

catstamm
06-20-2006, 10:01 PM
Never feel bad....people will just have to get over it! You are doing the right thing :angel7:

Patt
06-20-2006, 10:29 PM
A review of your posts concerning Mikey D indicates his aggression and biting has been an ongoing problem for some time.

It would be easy to simply say he's a problem dog and let it go at that. But at the risk of bruising your ego, I must disagree with that assessment. Dogs are not naturally aggressive, even in the wild. Among domesticated dogs, aggression (other than taught) usually is the results of fear or abuse (even from the past). If these and the animal's other pack related issues are not addressed by the guardian early on, they will escalate to the level you are currently facing.

Dogs, being pack oriented animals are always in search of leadership. If through owner ineffectiveness that role is not assumed, the dog is forced out of his normal emotional environment. Pack leadership through the calm and assertive administration of rules and boundaries is absolutely essential in order to produce a calm and submissive dog.

Although proper socialization is essential, the first step toward Mikey D's rehabilitation must be with his guardian. He is a dog, not a child! Affection given at the wrong time only fortifies improper behavior. When he's fearful, anxious, whining, begging, barking, being possessive, displaying dominance or being aggressive, he should not be comforted with any display of affection. Those are the times when he's looking for the security of dominant leadership. Mikey D, like all dogs must never loose sight of exactly who's the boss.

I know others on the board have suggested you seek professional help in this matter and I completely agree. Please do so before its to late.

Dijon04
06-20-2006, 10:59 PM
thanks for the info everyone....i'll definatley look for a reputable behaviorist in the area. i do know the problem is with me .... i expect him to react badly to people so i tense up when they are around....not good. but yeah thanks for the advice.

areese
06-20-2006, 11:16 PM
thanks for the info everyone....i'll definatley look for a reputable behaviorist in the area. i do know the problem is with me .... i expect him to react badly to people so i tense up when they are around....not good. but yeah thanks for the advice.

Well it is awfully hard not to be tense when they have acted aggressively in the past. And some dogs are just so much more in tune to your feelings than others so that makes it even harder. Laika is wonderful with all people but awful to big dogs so I understand how it is...

Jacqueline
06-21-2006, 03:23 AM
thanks for the info everyone....i'll definatley look for a reputable behaviorist in the area. i do know the problem is with me .... i expect him to react badly to people so i tense up when they are around....not good. but yeah thanks for the advice.

For what it's worth, aggression issues or not, possibility of Micky biting or not......when someone asks if they can pet your animal and you say, NO....the answer is NO.

Hey lady, can I come over there and fondle you? NO. You may not. Well, can I pet your dog? No. You may not. Same difference.....except the lady will bite harder, in my case.

The rude one in this incident with you, Mikey, Mom and kid.....was the kid.

Tex
06-21-2006, 07:31 AM
Here's the way I look at it.......I don't have kids (yet) so my Julie is like my child (in this instance....I know Cesar would say "bad owner")....but you'll see where I'm going with this. Julie is the sweetest thing with everybody, kids, adults, other dogs......but sometimes, I just don't want people petting her. If a stranger walked up to me and asked to hold my baby (human that is), I wouldn't think twice about saying NO and meaning it....same thing with my dog. Maybe I'm not in the mood, maybe Julie's not in the mood, maybe the person just looks suspicious or that they may be rough with her. Reguardless of the situation, if you say "No, you may not pet my dog", then any resulting problem is THEIR problem, NOT YOURS. Good luck in finding a behavioralist (I can't spell this morning), and don't feel bad for sticking to your social rules!

Jen
06-21-2006, 10:24 AM
DH has a coworker with a rescue who is very much a fear biter. So when people ask to pet her dog (or approach without asking) she loudly says "HE BITES". If they don't get it from that...:duh:

Tasha can be fear agressive. She's pretty good with kids up to about age 8, and if they ask (they often don't but rush up to her) I can guide them and tell them she's shy, approach her slowly, let her sniff you and start by petting UNDER the chin. But sometimes, especially if she's in my arms (carrying down stairs or in a dense crowd) people think they have a right to pet her and she has snapped at them. I tell them no if she's in my arms and they ask to pet her and set her down first. But people who don't ask drive me nuts. Especially in Manhattan they'd come up behind us when we were waiting for the light to change to cross the street and ambush her while I was watching traffic--and she'll run into the street to avoid them--so I keep her on a short lead. Sorry, didn't mean to get off on a rant.

But yes, a trainer is the way to go if Mikey has agression issues and it sounds like it would be helpful for you to get some training too!

lotsadox
06-21-2006, 11:20 AM
I have similar problems with Miller. He was very bad when I got him. He growled at almost all strangers. After 2 sets of obedience classes and countless hours spent at Petco, PetsMart and the park, he is much better, but I still don't trust him.

Don't ever feel bad about not letting someone pet Mikey. It's not going to be good for him to push it and, believe me, if he bites the kid Mom and Dad won't hesitate to put it on you and Mikey. They could possibly sue. If the kid is upset about not getting to pet the doggie, let his mom and dad get him a doggie. I don't let small children near Miller and the parents can just put on their big kid panties and deal with it. :shocked:

Lee Anne
06-21-2006, 11:54 AM
Great posts and I agree with the "don't feel bad about saying no" replies and the "get some instruction from a qualified professional" replies. You guys are great!