AgileOllie
08-18-2006, 10:25 AM
I brought this precious girl to the vet today. Her tail was wagging. She just knew that I was going to save her and keep her from ever having to go through anymore torment. When she looked at me I saw trust. That trust wasn't even earned. It was hope. For once in her life someone gave her attention- a scratch on the ear, a scratch under the chin. GOOD food. Clean water. She thought she'd found heaven.
Instead I brought her to a place that scared her, but still she trusted me. The doctor looked her over, shook his head and delievered the bad news. It is cancer- the worst kind- some sort of "oma" that spreads like wild-fire. The surgery would entail a complete masectomy that she probably wouldn't survive- only to give her a few pain-filled weeks that she spent recovering from the surgery if she did survive. The cancer was also in her lymph nodes and most likely in her organs as well. The vet commented that she'd probably had many many litters of puppies, based on stretch and wear on her nipples. Her teeth were rotten and mostly only exposed root was visible. The vet techs and I rubbed her exposed belly as she wagged her tail, obviously loving the star treatment. Four of us held her as she took her last breath- most of us crying, but trying to be strong for her. I told her I was sorry I let her down and I hope she heard me. I wanted so badly to give her just a few more months to learn what being loved felt like. I wanted her to sleep in the big bed just a few nights. I wanted to see her act silly when the treat jar came out.
I am so angry- I'm angry at a faceless person who first allowed her to get this way. Spaying her would've prevented all of this. Even spaying her 4-5 years ago probably would've made this a lot easier. I'm angry that they let it get so bad that it drug the ground, bleeding, causing her to wince with every step.
I'm angry at myself because I allowed myself to hope that I could make things better for her. The only solace that I have right now is that she didn't die in the gas chamber at the pound. I'm greatful for that. Please light a candle for this little girl and PLEASE SPAY AND NEUTER. Educate friends and families. Use Lady Bug as an example. Help me give her life and death some meaning to those who can still be saved.
Instead I brought her to a place that scared her, but still she trusted me. The doctor looked her over, shook his head and delievered the bad news. It is cancer- the worst kind- some sort of "oma" that spreads like wild-fire. The surgery would entail a complete masectomy that she probably wouldn't survive- only to give her a few pain-filled weeks that she spent recovering from the surgery if she did survive. The cancer was also in her lymph nodes and most likely in her organs as well. The vet commented that she'd probably had many many litters of puppies, based on stretch and wear on her nipples. Her teeth were rotten and mostly only exposed root was visible. The vet techs and I rubbed her exposed belly as she wagged her tail, obviously loving the star treatment. Four of us held her as she took her last breath- most of us crying, but trying to be strong for her. I told her I was sorry I let her down and I hope she heard me. I wanted so badly to give her just a few more months to learn what being loved felt like. I wanted her to sleep in the big bed just a few nights. I wanted to see her act silly when the treat jar came out.
I am so angry- I'm angry at a faceless person who first allowed her to get this way. Spaying her would've prevented all of this. Even spaying her 4-5 years ago probably would've made this a lot easier. I'm angry that they let it get so bad that it drug the ground, bleeding, causing her to wince with every step.
I'm angry at myself because I allowed myself to hope that I could make things better for her. The only solace that I have right now is that she didn't die in the gas chamber at the pound. I'm greatful for that. Please light a candle for this little girl and PLEASE SPAY AND NEUTER. Educate friends and families. Use Lady Bug as an example. Help me give her life and death some meaning to those who can still be saved.