I need some rayz for our daughter Natasha

[alfina]

I had to talk to our daughter's teacher this morning. Natasha is 7 and she grew up with Rumble around. She seemed ok when Rumble passed away. We all went and said goodbye before he was cremated. She cried but with Christmas presents and all she bounced up ok. Now that the ushes are back, I think it hit her pretty hard. She seems to cry over small things. Then she'd be ok again. Yesterday she couldn't do her homework because she was crying when we got home from school. She won't talk to me about what is making her sad. She told me she was just tired. Then this morning she seemed sad again. Same excuse but then she started talking about some puuppet show where they had a character Rumplestiltskin. Rumble's full name was Rumble Stiltskin. So, I know that she is grieving too.

Maybe some rayz would help her dealing with it.

[lotsadox]

Olga, I'm so sorry that Natasha is having such a hard time with this. I think that grieving and death are probably even harder for children than for us. They don't really understand the cycle of life and don't have the vocabulary to talk about what they feel. Sending tons for rayz for Natasha.

[JanUet]

Sending tons and tons of for Natasha.

We never really think about how a passing of a loved one will effect our children. Perhaps having a little chat with her may help. Or have her create her own tribute to Rumble.

Just some thoughts.:hearts:

[Nancy]

Sending a big Natashas' way!

[oceangirls]

ITA with Janet's suggestion of her creating a tribute. If you are worried she is needing to talk about it, you might tell her how much you are missing him, and that you would like to create something to remember the happy times of his life - like planting a tree or flowers for him, or making a scrapbook or album of pictures, etc. That might lead to a discussion, and would help her understand her that when we lose a dog, we don't forget them. I'm sending lots of rayz. I know the dachsies are there to give kisses, but Rumble was a special boy to all of you!

[quavec]

Absolutely agree with having her create a tribute to Rumble! My daughter is 8 and she lost her great grandfather at an early age. At the time, it did not sink in that he was truly gone. I think it finally hit her last year and her sadness broke my heart. My husband and I talked with her and had her gather the pictures she had of him and her together. We talked of all the fun things he did (had a fake rat next to his recliner to deter the g-grandkids from his stash of candy-that he kept for them anyway) and about how he loved to cook for everyone. Later, we created a shadow box of things that reminded us of him. It truly helped her, I think. She talks of him to her little brother (was not born when PawPaw passed) and she smiles now when she remembers. Perhaps Natasha could get a journal to help her write down what she is feeling. I know her spelling and vocabulary may not be great and huge, but just to put down on paper her emotions could be therapuetic. I am so sorry she is going through this. I know how hard it is to see your child hurt.

Maybe you could bring her to this board and read her the post of Rumble's passing.

[Jen]

for poor Natasha. Yes, I think all of the ideas suggested are good ones. Also, does the school have a psychologist? I saw one in elementary school after I lost a relative and I think it helped.

[Michelle]

Oh, this made me cry....
I'm sending lots of rays for Natasha

I think having her talk to the school psychologist is a good idea too,, If you are in the public school system they definately have one,,

Give her lots of hugs!!!!!! It will get better over time but still she is hurting now and needs lots of love.

[K2]

I agree with a tribut to him as well. Help her put together a memory book with pictures and cute stories that she remembers of him. it's always hard to say goodbye. You are your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Linus]

I had to take a Death and Dying class for my major and we learned that everyone...adults, children, animals even, grieve and its different for everyone. Its important for her to talk about it and not hold it in, but remember that her grief process could be totally different from yours. And I doubt that you will do this, but don't rush her to get over it or act like it is nothing, that often only makes it worse. There are some wonderful books and pamphlets about children and grief that could be valuable to anyone for any reason. Loss just isn't death...divorce, friends moving...a lot of other things can cause a child to grieve. I do remember that having the family create a tribute was one of the things they listed to help a child.