Dear esteemed DLC members,
I would like to express my concern and dismay over an incident that ocurred yesterday IN MY OWN HOME.
Some of you may know that we have a feline living in this house. His name is Bob, and he is a few cards short of a full deck, if you know what I mean.
We put up with him, after all, he can't really help it. We endure his pacing, walking in circles, incessant meowing and drooling, but this time he has gone too far.
He bit me in the pee-thing.
Yes, this is true. Right in my most tender girly area.
It is true that I was humping his head. It's what I do. I do it daily. Or nightly.
It is true Salsa was helping by biting his ears and face.
It is true he was yowling in protest, but in my defense, he yowls a lot.
He could have asked politely. I would have stopped.
But to bite me in the pee-thing... that is just going too far.
I would insist he be banished from our home. But then...what would I do all night?
Sincerely,
Laika Weener