Dis is RUFUS an he is big and stoopid an I can't decide if I wike him or not. He lives at my house, in The Outside. I live in The Inside because I am Bery. Special. But lately mah daddeh has been lettin his big stoopid self inside.

I don't mean to be elitist, but have you SEEN HOW WONG HIS WEGS ARE?!?!

Dat ain't right.

He wants to play all de time. And he don't have to be on no stoopid weash. I hate him. But I kinda wanna play.