I, Savannah Jane, have gotten into the habit of sneaking away from my mommy and, um, errrr.... Yeah. POOPING IN THE HOUSE. She an mah Daddeh poop in de house on sat big white throne, but mah liddle legs can't get up deer wifout falling in.

Tonight my mommy took me outside 30 minutes after supper, when I was whining at the door to go out. I got distracted and sniffed around a while, and then I barked at the dog 3 houses down, and then I looked at the moon (it is big and beautiful), then I sniffed around some more and then we came in.

And then... 5 minutes later I went in de bathroom and dropped a deuce on the rug.

RIGHT AFTER I CAME BACK IN FROM DE OUTSIDE!!!

And wait! Did is where poo gets REAL! Mah Mommy caught me in de act! I wuz assumin da position and had squoze one out AN SHE SAW ME. Saw me, poopin in da house!

She started hollerin somethin about a bad dog, real loud, so I gives her da LQQK. You know da one. All big brown sad eyes. An she KEPT ON HOLLERIN!

Den I did de next smart thing. I ran like a bat outta hell. I got behind de recliner in de bedroom an got real small... AN SHE CAME IN AFTER ME WIF A WEAPON!!

Are y'all gettin dis down? Sumbuddy call de paw-lice! She rolled up a paper and she spanked mah butt! I wuz mortified. An she skeered me.

It wuz just a liddle poop.

Merry Kiss-a-Moose.
I ain't getting nuffin.