I am so very sorry. Sometimes there is no explanation. All we can really do is love them while they are with us and cherish the memories when they are gone.
I am so very sorry. Sometimes there is no explanation. All we can really do is love them while they are with us and cherish the memories when they are gone.
My dad died before I was able to get there. I went in afterwards and spent a little time with him, but of course he was no longer in there, and the image was painful to me. For me, meditation helped... not allowing myself to dwell on the image when it came into my head but immediately replacing it with another one. I've also done that in times of great worry or fear. I'm really not very good at meditation, but it has seemed to work when I've chosen a very specific response to a specific trigger. And over time, that visual memory has faded. I am a person who really tends to dwell on and overanalyze things, so I try to recognize when there is no purpose to be served by doing so.
I'm so sorry.
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Kim & the Girls
With me always, Cassie & Angel
Oh Suzanne I'm not sure that's possible. I've been with all my dogs as they've died and hard as it is, I found it incredibly comforting that they went knowing I was there with them. But I've never lost one as suddenly as you lost Jack, except for Patti. He was at the vet getting stuff done, but I had no idea when I dropped him off that Laura would call and say come now, it's time. It's so hard, but concentrate on the fact that you were the last person he saw and heard and that he crossed knowing he was loved.
Paula & Buster
& my s Maxe, Alex, Wendal, Jules & James, Patti, Ferkel and Heidi,
"The greatest of all mistakes is to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can."
I agree with Kim. Not allowing myself to dwell on it has helped. I sat on the bed with Miller and held him as he died. It was very painful. I had to choose to think of it as he is young and happy now and waiting for me. But I cried often and hard in the first months after he died and still miss him very much. Time heals. But it does take some time. As I heard one person say "feel, deal, heal". You have to feel it and walk thru it. There's no way around that.
You ladies are both right - I wasn't very clear. No way to rush or avoid the grieving. I just meant to try to replace that image/thoughts of the last moments in your mind with something else - because you know he is okay now and there is no reason to let your mind get fixed on that. Sometimes repetition will help.
But definitely you should allow the grieving, at whatever pace is appropriate for you.
Kim & the Girls
With me always, Cassie & Angel
So so sorry - losing Hershey was physically bad for me - I understand your hurt...
Sandi aka Mama S aka keeper of da herd and da Popsicle flavor list AND Nana to Sean, Mykaylyn, Emma, Baylee, Eli, and Bryce and Mama to da brat, da boy and Brooke!
Thank you all so much. I really cherish your input,
Hoomom who was blessed with Jack. RIP Sweet Cynda 6/3/10, loving Lexie 9/13/13 and Jack, 3/22/16.
I am so sorry Suzanne! It breaks my heart to hear of your fur baby leaving just before Ester. Please tell us what he was like. His favorite food, what toys did he like, did he like to travel, ride in the car, did he give you kisses? Share that with us.
Thanks for asking about my buddy. He was a tweenie, weighed about 22 pounds. He was a rescue dog and was red with black tips and his coat was beautiful. He would go anywhere as long as he was with me, and would bark if I went outside without him. He didn't like his prescription low fat food but loved chicken and rice I gave him when his appetite was off. His favorite toy was a red Kong ball and he rolled that around until the day he died. He loved car rides, even just to the vet. He loved walks but hated going back home and sometiimes I had to carry him home. His idea of kisses was a lick on the nose. When I was home, he was where I was, by my side. I've never had a dog like Jack. Until he started getting sick, he never had an accident in the house, no matter the weather. He was just a Very. Good. Dog. And I miss him terribly.
Hoomom who was blessed with Jack. RIP Sweet Cynda 6/3/10, loving Lexie 9/13/13 and Jack, 3/22/16.
Losing our heart dogs takes something from us. But what a glorious thing, the bond we share. He'll watch over you always. As for erasing that image, I don't know how that happens. I lost my boy Skyler more than 4 years ago and his final day is still so clear in my head. But I promise you with all that I am, the good memories will take over for you. Focus on those in the bad moments, it helps.