Well, it has been a year

[Alex's Mom]

Oh, my dear. Believe me, I know just how you feel. Alex. Wendal. Ferk. All the others. Your heart never gets numb, just a bit bigger, and bit more bruised. There is no "normal" grieving process, I don't think. It's a uniquely personal journey, no right way, no wrong way. Me? I bury it, and the tears tend to surface at oddly unexpected times. Suddenly catching sight of Ferk's urn when I turned yesterday, I found myself in floods. 5 months is forever. 5 months is less than the blink of an eye. time, I find, is incredibly elastic. June 22 marked 19 years since Maxe left me, and yet she's still here. As are all the others (except oddly for James and Jules...I was only looking after them til they could go be with their mom again.) Their dates of passage are etched in my brain. As for getting another one, when you're ready, that one (or two) will show up, Kim. It appears that Heidi has started the steep part of the slope, eager perhaps to be with her sister whom she still misses so much. It is what it is, and what it is isn't a full stop, just a bit of a shift. Not, as I like to say, gone, just gone ahead. And oh yeah...I still have a little piece of Wen's hair, and of Dax's. On really bad days, I do the same thing ... a tactile reminder.